Sunday, 12th October

Today's blog is long overdue as I know many of you must be wondering about Jimmy's M protein results.  I must apologise for this but my head has just not been in the right space.

Monday was rest day between chemo cycles and we were supposed to receive the results of the M proteins too.  I phoned a couple of times only to be told that some results had come through but not Jimmy's.  We woke up with knots in our stomachs and spent the whole day anxiously waiting for the results.  We went to bed saying that we couldn't believe we would have to wake up on Tuesday morning with the same feeling all over again.  And this is exactly what happened.  I phoned through to the clinic a couple of times but the results were still not in.  I eventually asked Olivia if she wouldn't mind please phoning us once the results are through as I know how busy they are and I hate phoning and interrupting them while they are giving chemo and bone marrow biopsies etc are being done.  By Tuesday night we still didn't have any results. I did not fall asleep for hours and the last time I looked at the time it was 4:23 am....just too much stuff going on in my head.

We finally got the results on Wednesday.  In spite of knowing there was the possibility that the cancer cell count will not have dropped it was still a huge shock.  It's hard to believe that after 3 cycles of the new chemo there was absolutely no change.

On Thursday morning I phoned the clinic just to make sure that we were not having chemo only to be told that Jimmy does have to do the last cycle.  Of course we were not expecting this and completely forgot that it was first treatment of the next cycle and he would be having Doxorubicin too so with us getting though later than normal it ended up being a long day.  We were a bit disappointed about doing the last cycle as Jimmy's white bloods had come up nicely after having a rest day on Monday and I knew that after the Doxorubicin on Thursday his blood counts would be going one way.  We have had the children here for the school holidays and feel bad that we have not been able to go out or do anything with them.  We were hoping to at least go out for a family dinner over this weekend but the red devil definitely put an end to any of these plans. 

I was talking to a friend about Jimmy having to do last cycle of chemo when Prof had said that if there was no change we would stop chemo and start the process for stem cell transplant.  She said that maybe be wants to do the last cycle because after 3 there has been no change and by doing the last cycle while all the paperwork gets done for stem cell transplant might mean that they are actually stopping the cancer cell count from going up and this does make sense.  The only problem now is that we don't know if he is starting the process now or if it will be after this last cycle.  The difference of course is that Jimmy will or will not be in isolation over Christmas. 

I have very mixed feelings over the results.  If there had been a decrease in the cancer cell count then Jimmy would have completed the 4th cycle of chemo and Prof was going to motivate for another 2 and then do stem cell transplant.  Remembering that the most important thing was to get the cancer cell reading as low as possible as this would mean a longer remission.  But because there has been no change we will be going ahead with stem cell transplant with a higher cancer cell reading. Jimmy will now more than likely have to continue with chemo after the transplant but there is a good chance that his body will react better to the chemo after stem cell transplant.  Unfortunately once he goes into remission this period will now be shorter.  I do know that the one thing Jimmy is feeling happy about is that he will probably be able to return to work in the new year.

Tomorrow the 4th term starts and this is always a hectic one.  Very little school time before the kids start preparing for final exams. And before we know it the term will be over and Christmas will be here.  What a year it has been.