The days seem to be intertwining into each other. As each sun sets a new day dawns and I cannot keep my finger on the pulse. I have a mangled memory of when I did what with frequent realisations that often something has not been done. It is nearly 3 weeks since Jimmy's Mom passed away and yet it feels like yesterday. Saturday will be a month since we left for the Kgalagadi and everything is a blur since then. We lost a dear friend to a light aircraft crash last week and it seems that every other week we hear of another cancer diagnoses. Megan has left and gone to Miami to do another contract on the Norwegian Cruise Lines and we are still waiting for Jimmy's various test results to come in.
Jimmy was away last week on business and he is away again this week. The perfect opportunity for me to catch up on all the things I need to do but I feel like I don't know where to start. Each little molehill looks like a mountain. I feel like I have been swallowed up but I don't know what by.
So when I get my groove back and become the organised person that I am again, I will definitely post some of the amazing wildlife photos I took and hopefully will also have something to report back on Jimmy's results and the way forward.
2 comments:
Thinking of you all in this difficult time x
Dear Vivienne
I think you have been swallowed up by grief. Not only for your dear mother-in-law, but also all the other losses and of course the possible "lost" future with Jimmy. Whilst many people mean well when they say "live for today", unless they are in a similar situation, they may not understand how it feels to have lost a dream, in my case the dream that even as second timers we might still have a silver wedding anniversary, myeloma may have ended that dream for me. I find that when I have to be, during treatment like now, I can be incredibly positive and strong, it is when I should be happy and relaxed that the grief hits me most.
Be gentle with yourself.
Love Lorna
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