Thursday, 12th February

Day 43 - Stem Cell Transplant

I think I'll start with the happier news first.  Emma and I attended another lovely RAGA awards evening and dinner (Raymond Ackerman Golf Academy).  Well done to everyone on their hard work and achievements.  I was a very proud mom as Emma received 2 awards; one for being the most enthusiastic participant in all activities at RAGA and the other for enthusiastic and practical implementation of the like skills education received at RAGA.  I also received an award in appreciation of being the member of Clovelly who was most supportive to the students of RAGA, as voted for by the students.  You guys truly rock and I look forward to when everything gets back to normal on the home front and I can become more involved and give more of my time.  Thanks also to Pete for his special message in wishing Jimmy well with his treatment and recovery.

My poor man is really battling along.  I managed to shower him this morning again but don't know if this is really worth it as he is basically buggered for the rest of the day.  It takes so much of his energy.  I just think that when you sick you always feel better if you have a nice wash and the sisters change his bedding while I shower him and I hope this helps a little to make him feel more comfortable.

I arrived loaded with tinned foods and he managed a couple spoons of spaghetti in tomato sauce for lunch and a tiny bit of chicken noodle soup for supper.  I also bought tinned fruit cocktail so maybe we'll try this with custard for lunch tomorrow.  When I first started buying him juices because he didn't like the taste of the hospital ones he raved about orange juice.  Then he didn't like orange juice and wanted red grape juice. Each time I stock up on what he likes he changes his mind.  Today I poured some juice into ice trays and put them in his freezer, we'll have to see what he thinks of this idea tomorrow.  Allot of the time he complains that things are bitter and today even the water tasted funny to him.  I think this is half the problem when it comes to anything that he eats or drinks.  His mouth is very dry all the time but today he had to cut down on drinks because they were trying to flush some more fluid from his system.  He is also battling terribly with the sores in his mouth.

Jimmy had a lot of blood in his urine today.  I don't know where it is coming from but bleeding is also one of the side effects of the chemo, his gums and nose are also bleeding quite a bit.  He sat up in the lazy boy for a nice long stretch today, although he slept most the time, but the main aim is to not have him lying down all the time, to get his lungs functioning and work the fluid off his lungs.  He had another platelet and blood transfusion today and Dr Fine said the blood transfusion might help to make him feel better.  He is still fighting the infection and he had a temperature spike of 37.8 today again.  And I really don't know what is going on with his white blood cell count but these have now dropped to below 1 even though he is still on Neupogen injections.  Hopefully by tomorrow he will be over the diarrhoea, it did seem a little better today.  They are still nebulising him during the day and Jimmy is still on oxygen 24/7.

So, at this stage we really are taking it day by day.  It was terrible to see the disappointment on his face when he asked the sister what he temperature was and when I left this evening he actually said he is sorry he is not getting better.  I so wish I could wave a magic wand.

I must be sounding like a stuck record by now but thank you so much again for all your messages of support, love and encouragement and for the hugs I get when I bump into you.  As tough as this journey has been one very important blessing has been our friends.  I never knew how lucky we are and I know I would never have made it this far without you all.  You have all rallied around us and I wish there was a way of showing my appreciation.

Tomorrow morning I have to get up and face another difficult day but tonight I go to bed with a very warm heart.