Tuesday, 10th February

Day 42 - Stem Cell Transplant

I have had an absolute day from hell!

Jimmy is down in the dumps and cannot deal with the fact that he has no energy and is so tired all the time and doesn't feel well.  He was very bloated again this morning so they gave him something to flush some more fluids out.  He has blood in his urine but Dr Fine says this isn't an infection, it is trauma from the catheter and should clear up in a day or tow.  The sister and I managed to get him up to have a shower but he is so weak he can't even dry himself and he slept for 2 hours afterwards.  I fed him soup for lunch and I tried to give him the fish for dinner but he kept gagging.  He can only manage minuscule pieces at a time and probably had a table spoon all together.

The good news is his temp is still around the 37 mark and his white blood cell count came up by 0.1 to 1 today and the sores in his mouth, throat and colon seems to be getting better. He is still having a platelet and a blood transfusion each day.

I realised last night that I had not renewed our post box for 2015 so went down to the post office to do this this morning and get Jimmy some more bottles of water as he doesn't enjoy the taste of the hospital bottled water.  My mind was a million miles away and as I pulled into the parking I hit the car parked next to me in the passenger side parking.  I left a note with all my details and an apology with the car guard to give to the driver.  The lady phoned me this afternoon and thankfully she didn't bite my head off and said these things happen.  We are both insured so tomorrow morning I need to go down to the police station to get a case number and then report it to the insurance.

I got home at 6:30 in the middle of load shedding which was from 6:00 to 8:30 pm and couldn't get into the house because the garage door would not open.  I am presuming that the battery needs to be replaced as it is not strong enough to open the door when the electricity is off.  So I went down to my brothers house to sit out the load shedding and have a cup of coffee as they have a gas stove.

The lights came on early at about 8:10 so I came home and I could hear the sound of water gushing with quite a strong pressure in the back garden.  The flipping irrigation system is playing up again and the fitting has blown off the tap which is permanently on as it is a dedicated tap for the irrigation system and water was spraying everywhere and the whole back lawn is one big puddle of water.  Who knows how long this has been running for?  There goes our water bill!

And there I was thinking that sitting in the traffic for over an hour on my way home from the hospital was a problem.  This was actually the easiest part of my day.

It's a long day at the hospital each day and it's tough trying to keep a brave face for Jimmy's sake. The shocking thing is that I even feel irritated sometimes while I am at the hospital.  I am running my life in the hours at night when I get home from the hospital and this is very difficult when there is load shedding and I can't answer all my business emails etc.  I can't remember when last I had a proper meal but the thought of food just doesn't do it for me because I have coffee and a muffin or something unhealthy crap on the run.  I am missing having Jimmy at home and I am missing having a home because it doesn't feel like home.  I see him every day at the hospital for hours but it is not the same.  I wonder when this is all going to end and we can actually get back to a little normality?  I mean it's not like an appendix operation where you know there is a 100% recovery rate and in 6 weeks you pick up your life where you left off.

I know....I am feeling sorry for myself and the worst thing about it is this makes me feel so guilty because the things I complain about are nothing in comparison to what Jimmy is going through.  I know tomorrow will be better, I just hope Jimmy feels better tomorrow.