Wednesday, 25th June

Wednesday.... and that means my girls are here for the night.  What a blessing, the house even feels warmer when they are here :)

It's been a busy week so far, work wise, for both of us.  Jimmy in his chair with his laptop and telephone, his side table is starting to look like a regular desk, and me at my desk in my office which is in a corner of the room.  I am loving working together like this.  Not many of you can say you love your colleague! (sticking my tongue out).  I have a big import which cleared customs in CT this morning and will be delivered tomorrow and I'm looking forward to seeing the new releases of some of the models I sell.  Apart from, of course, the fact that I am now Jimmy PA 24/7.  Next he'll have me answering his phone!

We had our friends the Mortimer's around for dinner this evening, a sort of end of exams celebration and a  catch-up with Clive before he leaves again.  It's lovely to hear Jimmy laughing and he managed to sit at the dining room table for an entire meal, including desert.  Amazing how we measure our blessings these days.  Go babes!!!

I am sure from this you can gather that everything is good on this side and the last signs of nausea have now also dissipated.  Strange how in spite of this I felt quite down yesterday.  The over analyser that I am, I tried to think this one through.  I thought it might be the bump back to reality after such a nice two days away but have to say that as nice as it was, it was just long enough and I actually looked forward to coming home.  This is now our safe place.  I have come to the conclusion that perhaps I am just too scared that it is too good to be true at the moment.  Monday we see Prof for Jimmy's pre-start-of-a-new-cycle appointment and if everything is going to schedule then we start the 4th cycle of chemo on Tuesday.  We will also have a clearer picture on Monday of how things are going and I am sure Prof will have some idea of whether he will go with 4 or 6 cycles of chemo in total, although a definite decision will only be made after blood works at the end of the 4th cycle.  This of course also means that the stem cell transplant is looming closer....the new unknown.  Just like chemotherapy was in the beginning but has now become a way of life.  I am 'poep bang' and worry that I will be able to cope and be strong enough for Jimmy.  But I do remind myself that I have to look at the bigger picture and it definitely will all be worth it in the end.

And I know now that together we can do anything.