Wednesday, 7th May

I'm logging in early today because we need your prayers...

Another horrific night.  Between us we have had mere hours of sleep.  Today has to be Jimmy's worst day yet.  He is in so much pain that he can't even move.  I upped his painkillers to 4 hourly instead of 6 hourly but the wheels came off today.  I enlisted the help of our neighbour who is a GP and he gave me a script for Morphine patches.  He explained that these were better than an injection as once the effects wear off in 4 hours we will be right back where we started.  He also said to give Jimmy half a Trepiline tablet to take the edge off and said that the Morphine would also help with suppressing his cough.  Ewen went down to the pharmacy to get this meds and by the time he came home Jimmy was fast asleep in his chair so we decided to leave him to sleep a bit.

Once he woke up I asked him if he could try move to the side so I could put the patch on his hip.  This was absolutely impossible as he can't move at all today without going into spasm.  He is also complaining that he can't breath properly.  I don't know if this is due to anxiety, the phlegm from his cold or because he has broken a rib as his chest is very sore. The more pain he is in, the more withdrawn he becomes.  He was trying to move on his chair and I asked him if I can help, was he wanting to get more comfortable or get up?  He just told me to stop talking.  I have never felt so alone and pathetically incapable of helping him. I asked him if he wanted me to take him to hospital but he said he doesn't know what he wants.  Almost as if there was an angel watching over us, Michelle phoned to find out if we were home as Stan had just been to check on our guys (we working today) and they were down the road.

Michelle made tea and Stan helped Jimmy get up and go to the loo.  I asked Stan to please put the morphine patch on while they were in the bathroom.  Michelle took me on the veranda and we left Stan with Jimmy. She could hear that Jimmy was talking to Stan.  Stan got Jimmy settled back, comfortably in his chair after another round of medicine. When I walked them to the car Stan explained that I mustn't take it personally.  He said that Jimmy is in so much pain that he doesn't know what to do and he doesn't want me to know and this is why he is pushing me away.

He has since had another snooze in his chair.  When I asked him if he wanted a cup of tea he just shook his head and pointed to his chest.  It is so sore now that he can't even whisper.  It has been a few hours since we put the morphine patch on but I don't even know if it is having any effect.

I'm doing today's blog in bits.  I have just taken his temperature as he feels warm and it is 39.  This was at 5pm.

It is now 11.15pm and I have just got home from the hospital.  I phoned to tell them that I was concerned about his temperature and the receptionist phoned Prof who said he must immediately be addmitted to high care.  So that is where things stand now.  They have got him on oxygen as well as a drip with some strong pain meds and some anti-biotics.  They have also already done chest xrays.  Prof will be there in the morning and then I will find out what is happening.  His bed is right next to the sister's desk so they keeping an eye on him.  She did tell me that he would definitely be in high care for a few days.

Thanks to Stan & Michelle and Clive & Maureen for your help today and helping out with Loren and Emma,  taking them home with you and getting them to school in the morning.xx